You might be a Christian if…

I think Christians should laugh more. I mean, seriously, Jesus has saved us, forgiven us, restored us, filled us and has an eternal home for us, so we’ve got more reason to laugh than anybody! If you find yourself frowning today, I hope this post makes you smile. In the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy’s classic “You Might be a Redneck” jokes, I’ve written a few just for us Christians…

You might be a Christian if…

You’ve ever used the word “fornicate” in a sentence! (I still can’t figure out why we can’t just say “sex” like regular people.)

You’ve ever used the word “fellowship” when saying “hanging out” would have worked fine.

You think DC Talk invented rap music.

You miss church on Sunday, but you feel that you can still get church credit by eating at Chick-fil-a on Monday.

You rarely or never cuss out lout but you cuss in your head on Sundays when you’re craving Chick-fil-a but then remember that they’re closed!

You’ve ever participated in a “Trunk or Treat” because getting candy from car trunks in the church Parking Lot seems less creepy than getting candy from your neighbors.

You like “Veggie Tales” more than Disney and think Larry the Cucumber is cuter than Mickey Mouse.

You know who Bill Gaither is. (You might be a Baptist if you actually own a Bill Gaither Homecoming CD or DVD.)

Your grew up thinking that the Hymnal was twice as important as the Bible because they had twice as many of them in the pews in front of you. (This idea became reinforced when your church started stinging praise choruses that weren’t in the Hymnal and World War 3 nearly occurred!) 

You have a Pot Luck Dish recipe that your reputation is connected to.

You’ve attended so many potlucks that you’ve started seeing big bellies as a sign of holiness and you’v even developed a subconscious distrust for skinny people.

You have ever been referred to as “Brother” so and so or “Sister” so and so.

You can name more than three TV Preachers.

You’ve ever had a conversation with somebody about the difference in Calvinism and Arminianism. (Some of your right now are wondering if you were predestined to read this post or if you just chose to read it.)

That’s it for now. I’d love to hear YOUR “You might be a Christian if…” ideas. Just click the “add comment” button and post your own. I look forward to reading them! At least for me, this is a fun way to remember that we should never take our mission lightly, but should never take ourselves too seriously. 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

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10 thoughts on “You might be a Christian if…

  1. Jodie says:

    Lol Growin up, Did your grandma ever tell the someone that they didn’t sing her song right in church? I was crying laughing that day.

  2. Wes Hennings says:

    You might be a Christian if… your favorite movie stars Kirk Cameron.

  3. Ash says:

    You might be a Christian if… you owned silly bands? lol

  4. You might be a Christian if you feel guilty for changing the radio station in the car to secular music from KLOVE or AFA Radio. I actually felt that way before, how stoopid! Satan get behind me, he tries to use anything to condemn, geez!

  5. Nichol says:

    You might be a Christian if… Psalty the Singing Psalm Book was your first “American Idol”

  6. J.R. Dudley says:

    You might be a Christian if, when you’re out to lunch/dinner with other believers, you freeze up when the waitress puts food in front of you, and you look around tentatively to see if anyone else is going to say grace before diving in.

  7. Abbie says:

    You might be a Christian if at least half of these previous things applied to you!

  8. LOL at the predestination bit at the end 🙂

    but lots of this stuff went over my head, I think you’re describing American Christians rather than Christians in general.

  9. Mike Ingram says:

    Loved it. Shared it on my personal fb pg.
    I’ve often wondered how some ppl who claim to know Jesus could contain so much joy & not even smile. =D Smile, Jesus Love You!

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