There are 7 vital ingredients to a healthy marriage. I’ve seen too many couples overcompensate with an extreme focus on a few of these ingredients to make up for the fact that they’re missing something. It’s like trying to bake brownies and following the instructions perfectly, but leaving out eggs or sugar. Even if everything else is perfect, it’s still going to taste funny!
Let this recipe for a healthy marriage be a checklist to help you build the marriage of your dreams. The good news is that is that even if you’re missing some of these, you can still get them! None of these are out of your reach.
For a healthy, happy, vibrant, fun, exciting, encouraging, rockin’ marriage, you’ve got to have…
1. Laughter. I believe that laughter is the lifeline of marriage. In good times and bad, you’ve got to be able to laugh with your spouse. A marriage with no laughter is a sign of a marriage in deep trouble. Find reasons and ways to laugh together.
2. Communication. Between the two of us, my wife and I have 3 higher education degrees in Communication and we still have to work at communicating well in our marriage (like with most things, she’s a lot better at it than me). It doesn’t come naturally for anybody! Every husband and every wife has to be intentional about being a good listener and clearly communicating. Spend more time going on walks, going on drives, going out to dinner and being in settings that promote conversation.
3. Sex. Right now, all the guys are thinking, “Why wasn’t this number one?!” Sex is vital to a healthy marriage. It’s a God-given gift to promote oneness, intimacy, and pleasure (in addition to procreation). Make sex a priority. If things are healthy in the bedroom, everything starts getting healthier.
4. Friendships. In to many marriages, the wife has her set of friends and the husband has his and they rarely or never connect socially. You need “couple friends” that you share together. My wife and I have always had a Small Group through our church and those relationships have been a great source of laughter, joy and encouragement for both of us.
5. Goals. Couples shouldn’t just plan together, they should dream together. Without common goals and dreams for each other and for your family, you will be like a ship without a compass. Dream big and help each reach those dreams.
6. Celebration. When goals are reached or milestones achieved, spouses should celebrate together! Your marriage should be full of moments of celebration. Celebrate together privately and find ways to celebrate life’s victories and moments with your extended family and friends. Even in life’s toughest seasons, there are still plenty of excuses to have a party!
7. Faith. If these were in order of importance, Faith would easily be at the top! God invented marriage and without Him, I’m convinced that no marriage can be what He intended it to be. Pray together, study God’s Word together and allow Him to direct your paths. He is the one who can hold you together even when the world feels like it’s falling apart.
*A Great Resource for daily encouragement, humor and Biblical Truth focused on promoting stronger marriages, please visit and “like” http://www.facebook.com/strongermarriages