Please Read this Before You Get Married!

As a Pastor, one of my favorite job perks is having the privilege to Marry couples. It’s such an honor to be s small part of their “Big Day” where their dreams of “Happily Ever After” begin in a beautiful exchange of vows and rings. It’s usually one of the happiest moments in a person’s life, and I get a front row seat.

Sadly, I also talk to a lot of married couples whose love for each other has drifted and “Happily Ever After” has been replaced with Divorce Papers, Custody Battles and broken hearts. As a bride and groom say “I Do” with hearts full of joy, none imagine that they will end in divorce, but far too many do.

I’m convinced that the best way to prevent divorce is to enter marriage the right way. Couples need a solid foundation on which to build their lives and that preparation largely happens before the wedding ceremony even takes place.

Here’s a checklist that I wish every couple would follow before walking down the aisle.

1. Fall in Love…with Jesus! Until Christ is the primary relationship of your life, you’ll never be able  to fully commit to marriage the way that God intended. Our spouse can’t “complete” us; only God can. Once your life has been made whole by Him, you will be able to fully commit your life to your spouse that way God intended.

2. Marry the right person. Choosing a partner is so much bigger than just physical attraction or “feelings,” it goes to a deeply emotional and spiritual level. For more info on how to make sure you’re marrying the right person, please read this short post on “6 Questions to ask before you get married” https://soulcaffeine.wordpress.com/2012/03/14/6-questions-to-ask-before-you-get-married/

3. Know where you’re going. It was Yogi Berra who once said, “If you don’t know where you’re going, you’ll end up somewhere else!” You need to know where you’re going in life before you can ask someone to take that journey with you. Make sure you and your partner are on the same page with your life’s mission, then decide in advance how you can help each other get there.

4. Throw away your “Exit Strategy.” When I see couples enter into marriage with separate checking accounts, separate last names or separate dreams, I know that it’s probably just a matter of time before they’re separate in everything. If you can’t fully commit your hopes, dreams, finances and life to your spouse, then you shouldn’t get married. If you need a pre-nuptual agreement, I believe you’re better off not getting married in the first place. Be willing to say, “Til death do us part” with no Escape Clause or you’re undermining the sacred foundation on which marriage must be built.

If you’re willing to follow these four simple steps before your Wedding Day, I’m convinced that nothing will be able to come between you. I wish you all the best in your life together! God bless and Congratulations! 

 

 

 

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5 thoughts on “Please Read this Before You Get Married!

  1. David Soler says:

    How do you do #3?

    How do I know my wife’s mission?

    -Avid Reader

  2. David Soler says:

    Also-

    Love the Headline.

    and the picture. Taking the blog to the next level. Love it!

    Also the link to answer question 2- (Powerful)

    _____

    Avid Reader

  3. David Soler says:

    You ever go to the mall and the chinese lady lets you sample the chicken?

    Or have you ever been to Sams or costcos and they let you sample the food? I really like that because it lets me see if I like it, Kind of like a blog. I get to sample what the author/blogger is about. What there “dishing out” if you will.

    Well, One day I was at Sams and they let me sample a chicken dish and I really liked it. So I wanted more and I thought I would get more by buying it and enjoy it with my family. But they didn’t have any more.

    In Fact, They didn’t have any to sell. Surprisingly, all they did was give me FREE samples. It felt really strange, I really wanted to share it with my love ones and enjoy more of it than just the small sample.

    It felt like something is missing or Maybe I just feel like I’m left “hanging”. Have you ever felt that way?

    Well, On another subject… About your awesome, insightful blog posts and Marriage tips. It has been very helpful and impactful. I was wondering:

    Do You have a Class that I can take?

    I would like to go deeper on these items and your other posts. Do you teach a class or a series of classes so I can learn these lessons?

    Your insights and demonstration of love and friendship in your marriage is admirable. Its something I would like to emulate.

    Do you do Coaching? Do you have a step by step book I can read to follow? Do you have a audio program so I can listen on the way to work and back? Do you have a seminar or class so I can absorb your energy and passion about this subject? How Can I learn these things to implement it in my marriage?

    Thanks for your help. Any of these things would be very helpful. In any area of our life, its seems to be 20% knowledge and 80% behavior.

    How do I change my behavior to be a better spouse?

    _____

    Avid Reader

    P.S. If you don’t do any of those items and you feel that is your next step, or that God is putting it on your heart to tend to his hurting children that way, The Resources are interacting with you weekly & Daily.

  4. Very well put Dave–I love it. One additional area I cover in marital counseling is look for potential potholes down the road you travel. There are several paths along the road that Satan temps you to wander down. Talk to your mate to discover where these roads might lead you–for there may be a pothole covered with muddy water, sooooo, make sure you can avoid them.

  5. Mary says:

    This is such great advice. I’m still in the dating period of my life but this is definitely wise words to keep in mind. Thank you!

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