Apart from your relationship with God, there is no more important and more intimate relationship in the universe than the relationship of Marriage. It is a beautiful gift, designed by God, to bring one man and one woman together in a physical, emotional and even spiritual bond.
What I’m about to say might offend you, but as your Brother in Christ, I love you enough to offend you with the Truth, so here goes…If you are a Christian and you are dating a Non-Christian, you need to break up! If you are already married, that is a completely different scenario, but if you aren’t married, I can say with Biblical certainty that God’s Will is NOT for you to commit your life to someone who is not following Him. Don’t take my word for it, listen to what God says on the subject…
“Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers…How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever?” 2 Corinthians 6:14-15
“The men of Judah have defiled the Lord’s beloved sanctuary by marrying women who worship foreign gods” Malachi 4:11
“You are not to give your daughters in marriage to their sons, nor are you to take their daughters in marriage for your sons or for yourselves. Was it not because of marriages like these that Solomon king of Israel sinned?” Nehemiah 13:25-26
This Bible has a lot more to say on this subject and I encourage you to study it on your own. This brings up some important questions that you might be asking…
1. But I really “love” this person. Isn’t that enough? No. God is love and God loves you. He wants what is best for you. You might need to readjust your view of love and marriage from what we see in Romantic Comedies to what we see in God’s Word. If you are willing to disobey God for somebody you want to marry then what you feel isn’t real love.
2. But doesn’t God want to me keep dating this person so I can lead them to Jesus? No. There is a much better chance that they will lead you to bed. I’m sure you have good intentions, but God never intended you to be a dating evangelist.
3. But we’re so compatible! We have so much in common? Isn’t that enough? No. If the most important relationship in your life is Jesus and the most important relationship in their life is something else, you’ll be pulling in two separate directions. That is an irreconcilable difference that trumps the fact that you really like the same movies and music.
4. So I should just break their heart and my own? Yes. If that’s what it takes. Too much is at stake to do anything else. You need to trust the broken pieces of your heart to God and know that He is pleased when our faith leads us to tough choices. As for your boyfriend/girlfriend, keep praying for them and believing that God will reach them. Before you jump into a new relationship, make Jesus the first and foremost relationship in your life and then trust Him to bring the right person in the right time.
5. What if I can’t find somebody else? Trust God. Pray and be patient. God will often ask you to wait for His Best, but He will never ask you to settle for anything less than His best!
6. What if I’m already married? Pray. Pray for your spouse and for yourself. The Bible is clear that if your spouse is willing to stay married, then you should stay married.
The bottom line is that we should all be willing to trade in our own opinions and our own feelings for God’s Truth. Following Him means that we are willing to trust Him even when our feelings and emotions are telling us to do something else. Know that God has good things in store for you.
“For I know the plans I have for you declares the LORD; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
Soul Caffeine 
Thumbs way up. My dad always taught me “no missionary marriages”. There are plenty of opportunities to share Christ with non-believers BEFORE you get to the altar, don’t plan on ‘changing them’ after you exchange vows.
Thanks for sharing these biblical truths with us. Even those of us in long term marriages can learn and be encouraged with the truth of God’s word.
Thank you for sharing honestly (and brutally!) what the Bible says. I learnt the (very) hard way recently that God’s plans are better than ours, and I would be a fool not to trust His Word. It’s so much clearer to me, now that we’re not together, that we were going in totally different directions, despite thinking we were so compatible and knew each other so well. I’m thankfully now back at church and trusting God for everything. God bless you.
Thank you for being biblical! I often see pastors or people that preach to please the people…by saying what people want to hear! But in this message, you’ve put a straight forward answer to the question.
To everyone who might’ve forgotten; “YES” is yes, and “NO” is no… there is no Maybe!!
[…] Soul Caffeine: Why Christians Should Never Marry Non-Christians […]
I STRONGLY disagree!! I have been happily married to a non-believer for 10 years. We knew each others beliefs before we were married and decided it was best if we did not discuss religion in our relationship. HOWEVER, the last year has been a wonderful year as he became a believer and gave his heart to God! When we were dating we discussed why he wouldn’t believe in God, and after hearing his response and how he was raised I would have probably not been a believer as well. He received the answers he was looking for a year ago and we now worship God together as a HAPPILY MARRIED FAMILY 🙂 My belief is to never give up on the lost souls, I do believe that God has a plan for each and every one of his children. This type of relationship is not for everyone and I respect that, however, if I chose to walk away from this wonderful loving friend, husband and father then he may have never found true love or God. Never give up is my motto, things happen for a reason and I know that God brought him to me so I could eventually bring him to God 🙂 Hope everyone has a very blessed day!!!
You are very fortunate that your marriage turned out as it did. You are a brave woman. But in my opinion you played Russian Roulette with your soul. It could easily have gone the opposite way for you. I’m not willing to take that chance.
Thanks for sharing and again, I’m very happy your life has been blessed as it has.
This is so sad. She is not fortunate, she is BLESSED. GOD loves us all even the those who may not be members of a church. I have known personally (too many) who were faithful Christians and cheated on their spouses, marriages end in divorce, and these were people of GOD. When you get married you are playing Russian Roulette no matter if you marry a preacher or a non-Christian.
The Old Testament is for our learning the New Testament is for our living. Read the entire context of 2 Corinthians 6:14-15 and study for yourself, don’t take someone elses word. GOD is the final judge, not man/woman
I believe you should marry the person that makes you happy. And if that person is not a christian, but you are, then that is a decision you have to make, and one you have to live with.. With that being said.. I had lost my faith many years ago when my step father died.. I didnt understand why a loving god would take away my mothers partner, and my sisters father.. I was heart broken and lost… About 13 years later I moved to a new state and met a wonderful man.. After dating for a few months he knew how I felt, he knew I didnt have a relationship with God, and he understood why I felt that way.. He asked me to marry him and I truly loved him, and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.. I love so many things about him, and although I didnt believe, I love the relationship he has with God, and I admired it. He knew he could not change me or my beliefs, but he also knew I was just lost and needed to find what worked for me.. Well, we have been together for 7 years now, and married for 5 years.. In that time I have developed my own relationship with God and have a totally new outlook on life.. He has taught me so much and has helped me repair my relationship with God.. I feel that I have been truly blessed. I believe that God bought me to my husband to help me understand, learn, and continue to work on my relationship with God. So.. I do believe you can marry someone that does not have the same beliefs as you, but as long as they respect that.. I did, and in my case I am very lucky because I have learned alot, and my relationship with God has become stronger, and continues to do so!! I am grateful for my husband and all he has taught me.. I am now happy to say that I am now a believer!! And, I thank my wonderful husband for getting me to where I am now, spiritually!!
Kimberly,
you are a true example of what GOD really has in mind for HIS word. You lost your faith but he gave you someone who could help you find HIM again. CONGRATULATIONS
I DISAGREE completely. I have been in a church where the preacher was sleeping with youth minister, for years and then when she moved away, went to visit her in her new area, both where married with children that grew up together. This is just on example of what marrying a christian can be like. I have a dear friend whose parents told her not to marry this one man because he was not a christian but to marry a man who was a minister. She being a loving daughter starting dating this man and feel in love and married. He left her after 2 children and more than 10 years for the church secretary.
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 has been used to say that inter-racial marriages were wrong. It could mean that we should not be friends with unbelievers, you should not be around family that does not believe, because again you are UNEQUALLY YOKED. It does not say in marriage, it says in a relationship. There are many forms of relationships even those with your children. If your child openly says he does not believe, according to what you have said, you must cut ties with them because you are unequally yoked. I married a non-christian but a man that believed in GOD. Instead of believing “MANS” interpretation of the scripture, I took a more GODLY approach. I went to church, my husband started going to church. He surprised me one day and had 2 Elders baptize him into the body of Christ without me even knowing he had been studying. It was one of the best days of my life. By being a christian and knowing that GOD loves the lost, I did not have to tell my husband what to do, I led by example. I acted like a christian and showed GOD through me. Were we unequally yoked, no because GOD knew his heart. GOD knew that he would one day become a child of HIS. So when you look at a non-christian and a christian getting married, don’t judge because you don’t know the heart of the person. Too many “CHRISTIANS” have been unequally yoked in marriage because one thinks they can cheat and get away with it. UNEQUALLY yoked also applies at your job, your family, your doctor, your life in general:
Here are some questions to ask about being “Unequally Yoked” with relationships you have:
1. Does my doctor believe in Christ? If not, find a new doctor
2. Does my children believe in Christ? If not, do not associate with them
3. Does my job/boss believe in Christ? If not, quit your job and work for a Christian based company.
4. DO my friends believe in Christ? If not, then you need new friends. This is one of the most common unequally yokes that we avoid because, Hey they are my friends not my spouse. Friends have a great influence on us even if we dare not admit it.
Instead of worrying and judging others about being “Unequally Yoked”, trying being A Sacred Influence and bring them to Christ. Unless you are not up to the task of saving the lost. It’s easy to be with others who think and believe like you do, but the challenge is being with others with the hopes of sharing GOD.
Saying that makes you a judge and you should not judge others. According to: 2 Corinthians 6:14-15
New International Version (NIV)
Warning Against Idolatry
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial[a]? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?
This does not say in marriage, it says yoked together. You are yoked with your family, friends and your job. Are they all in line with GOD’s will or is there an area where some are unyoked.